We extend a special welcome to those who are single, married, divorced, LGBTQ, straight, filthy rich, dirt poor, or don’t speak “Minnesotan.”
We extend a special welcome to those who are crying newborns, broken-hearted, or in need of a safe place. We don’t care if you are more Presbyterian than John Calvin or haven’t been to church since little Eliza was baptized. We welcome you if you can sing like Adele or Renée Fleming or if you can't carry a note in a bucket.
You're welcome here if you're just browsing, just woke up or just got out of jail. We don't care if you believe in God or if you've never been to church. We extend a special welcome to those who are over 60, but not grown up yet, and to teenagers who are growing up too fast. We welcome fourth-graders and 90-somethings. We welcome those who are liberated by wheelchairs or walkers. We welcome soccer moms, NASCAR dads, starving artists, tree-huggers, latte-sippers and Mountain Dew drinkers, vegetarians, carnivores, junk-food eaters and even Packers fans. We welcome you if you have some memory challenges. We welcome those who are in recovery or still addicted. We welcome you if you're having a problem (who isn’t?), or you're down in the dumps or if you don't like organized religion. We've been there, too.
If you blew all your offering money partying, you're welcome here. We offer a special welcome to those who work too hard, don't work, can't spell, or are here because grandma is in town and wanted to go to church. We welcome those who are inked, pierced or both. And we welcome those who could not imagine being inked or pierced. We offer a special welcome to those who could use a prayer right now; had religion shoved down their throat as a kid or got lost in traffic and wound up here by mistake…We are glad YOU are here!
So, if you’re breathing, you are welcome. And if you’re not breathing, we can help too!
(We modified this from someone else’s original, but we mean every word of it!)